You might not want to hear it, but YOU’RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM.
No matter what we’re going through, no matter what we’re facing, it’s all up to us how we’re going to deal with it, how we’re going to accept it, and how we’re going to handle it and process it.
If something is going shitty, we have to take a step back and take a look at what’s happening. We have to decide how to take control–how we deal with it, how we look at it–and find out if the situation is something we can fix.
If it’s something that we can fix, then we fix it.
It is something that we can’t fix, then we have to move on and figure out how to deal with it.
At the end of the day, the only person that we can control is ourselves.
A lot of times we find ourselves in a mess, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, we put ourselves there. We put ourselves there by a specific action we took, or we put ourselves there by a specific action or series of actions we didn’t take.
Especially when we run into situations where we start feeling like “This always happens to me!”
Well, if you’re in a scenario of “This always happens to me,” be it in a relationship or your work or your business, the cycle has to be broken by you.
And most often, we’re the bottleneck.
We’re the ones handling it poorly.
We’re the ones not looking at the real issue–the cause of the issue–and dealing with it.
Always late for work? Well, maybe you’re getting to bed too late, and getting up too late.
Well, who handles that?
We decide. We set the standards for ourselves.
If we find ourselves in a situation and get really mad about it, that’s on us. Because we’re the only ones who can control our own emotions.
Now, this isn’t easy, and in fact, it’s probably one of the toughest things that I’ve had to learn to deal with; the fact that, whether things are going well or not, it’s totally up to me–and it’s definitely up to me–how I deal with it, how I handle it, and how I feel about it.
If I don’t like the way something’s going, it’s up to me to make the changes.
It’s up to me to have those difficult conversations with the person that the problem might be with, or have that difficult conversation with myself and realize that, hey, it’s because I’m not taking care of “this”, that “this” keeps happening. It’s because I’m not paying attention, that it keeps happening. Or it’s because I’m acting a certain way, that this keeps happening.
You’ve probably heard this before, but if you’re hanging out with negative people, you become negative also.
So how do we deal with that?
We have to remove ourselves from it. But we also have to understand that it’s ultimately up to us if we’re positive or negative.
If you’re achieving goals, it’s because of you.
If you’re not achieving goals, it’s still because of you.
Now I’m not saying things don’t happen to us – there are shitty things that happen.
But how we deal with it and how we process it is totally within our control.
But the tough truth of it is, it’s still up to us.
The more we can do that, the better we become at dealing with things, the happier we become.
The more peace we can start to create within our mind.
It’s not a license to be an asshole. You gotta be honest.
You gotta think about your “filters” and how those filters affect how you perceive things.
You and the person beside you can be standing there and see an event happen in front of you, and you’re both gonna perceive it slightly differently, because of our programming, our scripts, and our filters.
How we were raised, what we’ve seen and haven’t seen through our experiences.
So it’s up to us to learn to change that.
If there’s a horrific car accident and someone we care about is affected or injured or dies, of course, it’s going to affect us.
But it’s still up to us to determine how long and how deeply.
How long do we let the process go, because we need to grieve in that kind of situation, but isn’t an excuse for–two years later–we’re drinking too much, or we’re a shut-in in our house.
We know there are things we need to do for ourselves. We know, deep down, what we need to fix.
We know, deep down, our strengths and weaknesses.
We have to learn to deal with them, we have to learn to come forward and it’s only up to us.
Whether we’re happy or sad in this life, is on us.
It’s on us to make the changes we have to make.
It’s on us to have to learn the self-control we need to have.
It’s on us to seek help when we need help.
It’s on us.