This is a message that was sent to me last night after I posted this picture just after I finished my back and biceps workout.
“You’re wearing your shirts too tight…”
I shit you not. And this person who has been a Facebook friend and lifter for years – was serious!
Initially, I responded with “LoL” truly believing he was busting my balls for fun – as a lot of us guys do.
Then he came back with, “No man, I’m being totally serious!.. In fact, a lot of people are laughing at you behind your back!”
I wasn’t surprised–OK, maybe a little from who this was coming from–but not surprised about the comments.
I just responded with “Hey I get it, probably the same people who laughed at me when I was almost 400 lbs and my shirts were even tighter – just around my gut instead of the chest and arms.”
He went quiet after that, the conversation was done.
The truth is, there will be people in your life who will have a problem with you when you start to succeed.
They will have something shitty to say or they won’t comment at all when you post something showing the progress you’re making (funny because they will comment or “like” your post about kittens in a tree you shared the day before)!
When someone uses the empirical statistical number of “a lot of people” that’s just more bullshit being made up to try and make their negative opinion seem more legit.
But that’s how this goes
First off, we shouldn’t be doing anything in our lives for any else’s approval.
But, we are still human after all, and a negative comment can sting a little–or a lot–depending on where you are on the self-confidence scale.
When people say they have a problem with what you’re doing in regards to your transformation goals, life achievements, etc, they are really demonstrating that the problem is with their own internal dialogue and feelings.
It’s really not about you, at all.
One of the very first things I talk about with my new transformation clients is exactly this issue.
There will be people who do not want you to succeed.
They feel it reflects poorly on them, this is an internal reaction they have because they aren’t happy with themselves.
It’s just easier to point those feelings outward on you – rather than inward on themselves.
But there will also be people in your corner.
You also need to be aware that when someone does say something positive, that’s something you should really appreciate.
Use that as positive reinforcement, but don’t rely on it.
As I said before, you should be working on these transformational life changes for you, and for you only.
After all it ONLY matters what you think and believe about yourself.
For me…
I really just take all this negativity as a compliment.
And…
I’m expecting a shit ton more of these “compliments” as I keep evolving and continue to create the superhero version of myself!
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Tell your “friend” that you can’t help it, the shirt being to tight. Tell him like I tell my “friend” that I’m looking for a SERIOUS TRAINING PARTNER!!! And look him in the eye when you tell him that. If you ONLY had a serious, dedicated training partner you and him could EXPLODE into breaking old barriers , emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical barriers. Look him in the eye and say, ” I really wish I had a serious training partner.” Tell him it’s time…… You know that we reflect our own inner demons and our own inner inspirations. Reflect your inner inspirations.
I hear that.. I already have 3 very amazing training partners .. we all work hard and focus to make sure
each of us has the best workout possible. It’s a huge positive environment. And it’s protected .. I would never
anyone as negative as the guy who sent me the comment into that precious inner circle.
Curd, I think you look wonderful. And it takes a lot of guts to ‘bare’ all and be raw with your journey while sharing it with others. You are absolutely right. Other people’s opinion are none of your business. Your opinion is what matters. And people’s words and actions are a reflection of who they are and they need to own their shit!
Keep up the great work my friend. You’re my hero!!
thanks Julie … Its a great example to anyone who is making changes to be ready for people not to be happy about it. It’s so important that we learn that we are responsible for how we feel about ourselves and what we are doing about it!