To some you will be a Hero – to others a Villain

When we decide to make huge changes in our lives, we expect there to be many positives. But we also know to expect some problems along the way.


  • we will feel better,
  • lose weight,
  • get stronger,
  • feel more confident,


  • it’s gonna be hard at first,
  • we’re going to get tired at times,
  • we can feel lost and overwhelmed.

The Unexpected

Then there is the stuff we don’t expect.

How many people will be inspired by our progress?

How many people will have a problem with our progress?

Even stranger…

The people who know us the least will be the ones most inspired.

The people closest to us are some of the ones who will have the biggest issues with what we are doing.

it’s kinda fucked up – at first

Soon though it will just be part of the journey, part of the experiences you will have along the way to becoming the very best version of yourself.

It’s part of the price of success and change.

Just last week…within the space of 24 hours,

I received two very different messages.

First – I was told that I had become “self-absorbed” and I was a poor communicator.

Second – literally 24 hours later I was sent this message…

“I’m not sure you know how many lives you’ve touched… your name has come up a number of times. You are doing great work!”

Talk about diametrically opposed messages!!

I’d like to say that the negative message didn’t bother me. But I’m human, so it did. At first.

The old me would have really spent a lot of time spinning on that negative message.

Instead, I looked at the positive message harder – deeper.

In the end I came up with this…

To some you will be a Hero – to others you will be a Villain.

Venom – Hero to some Villain to others

When I sat and thought about the messages even further, I realized both messages were actually very true.

I have become more self-absorbed!

I put my health – my mindset – fitness – my transformation, first above all else and everyone else.

But that type of self-absorbed has also inspired hundreds, maybe even thousands at this point, and will only continue to grow.

My transformation journey is allowing me to lead and help so many more people.

The more self-absorbed I am becoming, the more I have to offer and give to others!

The “Self Absorbed – Hero – Villain ” me…

…Is happier,

Is stronger Mentally and Physically,

IS a better man – husband -father – business partner – leader – friend.

BUT don’t worry, there’s still lots of room for improvement in all areas too.

Self-Absorbed or Inspiration as seen by others is just that – how others see me based on what’s happening in their hearts and minds.

The big difference is what I believe about myself – what my definition of self-absorbed is.

Yes, I am both a Hero and a Villain.

It’s the only way we can improve and move forward.

I accept it.

There is a time and a place for both

Be ready!


Struggle – Persevere – Succeed – Inspire

Ready to make a Transformation?

The Iron Will 28-Day Reboot is a four-week, step-by-step transformation program for men & women 35 & over, that includes a clean meal plan, personalized supplementation, fat-burning & body-changing workouts, and daily inspiration to help you feel STRONG & CONFIDENT, look AMAZING and have much more ENERGY to do the things you really want to do!

If You are Serious, Write shit down Episode 177

This is the low hanging fruit that you can easily grab and start making a change today!

It starts with writing things down, your goals – your dreams – your action plan

Writing things down encourages daily progress

Before anyone tries to improve themselves, their thoughts, or their actions, the first step should always be to evaluate their past and current situation.

By writing things down, you’d have a record of what you did, thought of, and acted on so this helps you reflect on what worked and what didn’t. You can gauge your strengths and weaknesses and identify how you spend your time and energy.




I have always said, my very best training happens when I write everything down in my training journal.

My mind takes it more serious – my body takes it more serious

I have a way of making sure I continue to push and progress

Some days – I feel like dog shit and really don’t want to think about training – but with a workout that’s written down – I just work on getting it done

1 line – 1 exercise – 1 set at at time..

In no time flat workout is done

Mind and Body are in a much different place due to adrenaline and endorphins

Best of all – I didn’t skip and I kept myself accountable

Always being pulled forward – Not even I can get in my own way that way.








Ready to make a Transformation?

The Iron Will 28-Day Reboot is a four-week, step-by-step transformation program for men & women 35 & over, that includes a clean meal plan, personalized supplementation, fat-burning & body-changing workouts, and daily inspiration to help you feel STRONG & CONFIDENT, look AMAZING and have much more ENERGY to do the things you really want to do!

You’re wearing your shirts too tight!

curd arms barbell curl

This is a message that was sent to me last night after I posted this picture just after I finished my back and biceps workout.

“You’re wearing your shirts too tight…”

I shit you not. And this person who has been a Facebook friend and lifter for years – was serious!

Initially, I responded with “LoL” truly believing he was busting my balls for fun – as a lot of us guys do.

Then he came back with, “No man, I’m being totally serious!.. In fact, a lot of people are laughing at you behind your back!”

I wasn’t surprised–OK, maybe a little from who this was coming from–but not surprised about the comments.

I just responded with “Hey I get it, probably the same people who laughed at me when I was almost 400 lbs and my shirts were even tighter – just around my gut instead of the chest and arms.”

He went quiet after that, the conversation was done.

The truth is, there will be people in your life who will have a problem with you when you start to succeed.

They will have something shitty to say or they won’t comment at all when you post something showing the progress you’re making (funny because they will comment or “like” your post about kittens in a tree you shared the day before)!

When someone uses the empirical statistical number of “a lot of people” that’s just more bullshit being made up to try and make their negative opinion seem more legit.

But that’s how this goes

First off, we shouldn’t be doing anything in our lives for any else’s approval.

But, we are still human after all, and a negative comment can sting a little–or a lot–depending on where you are on the self-confidence scale. 

When people say they have a problem with what you’re doing in regards to your transformation goals, life achievements, etc, they are really demonstrating that the problem is with their own internal dialogue and feelings

It’s really not about you, at all.

One of the very first things I talk about with my new transformation clients is exactly this issue.

There will be people who do not want you to succeed.

They feel it reflects poorly on them, this is an internal reaction they have because they aren’t happy with themselves.

It’s just easier to point those feelings outward on you – rather than inward on themselves.

But there will also be people in your corner.

You also need to be aware that when someone does say something positive, that’s something you should really appreciate.

Use that as positive reinforcement, but don’t rely on it. 

As I said before, you should be working on these transformational life changes for you, and for you only.

After all it ONLY matters what you think and believe about yourself.

For me…

I really just take all this negativity as a compliment.


I’m expecting a shit ton more of these “compliments” as I keep evolving and continue to create the superhero version of myself!

Ready to make a Transformation?

The Iron Will 28-Day Reboot is a four-week, step-by-step transformation program for men & women 35 & over, that includes a clean meal plan, personalized supplementation, fat-burning & body-changing workouts, and daily inspiration to help you feel STRONG & CONFIDENT, look AMAZING and have much more ENERGY to do the things you really want to do!

Grin & Bear It

I talk a lot about having a positive mindset, the importance of having a purpose-driven life, and working towards our goals and our vision.

I also talk a lot about being motivated and getting things done by taking action.

What we don’t talk a lot about is how do we deal with difficult situations when they come up; a loss, something happening in our family, our emotions, other people’s emotions – including the shit WE cause!

Filling the void

Most times we avoid these things. And we avoid them, hide, or medicate ourselves so as to not to have to deal with these things. That can be anything from binging Netflix, booze, drugs, sex, food, and just overall “drama.”

We use all those things to fill the voids and to take the pain of the situation out of the equation for a little bit.

To hide from it. To mask it.

We’ll tell ourselves and others how it’s not fair, especially if people around us are listening to us.

You’ve got people all around you that will talk to you and will piss and moan to you, simply because you listen.

But we do that ourselves as well. It’s only natural that we get into those situations, but sometimes we get caught up in that cycle.

Taking Action

We sit in our own self-pity as a baby sits in a shitty diaper – hoping that someone will come along and clean it up for us.

But we know, deep down inside, that it really is up to us,

At the end of the day, it’s all on us. It’s up to us how we’re going to deal with it.

Rather than avoiding the issues, or continuing to keep running into the same issues, we need to face them head-on. We need to acknowledge the pain and push towards a solution. We’ve got to push towards our goals and the vision of where we want to go.

We have to push to get to the other side.

There’s a really cool Latin phrase, Sustine et Abstine, which means Bear and Forbear.

Endure what we must.

But once we turn and face something–once we decide to deal with something–rather than let it go on and on, grin and bear it, bite your teeth and get through it.

Get to the other side.

And I’ll tell you, once you’re through to the other side we can look at what caused that situation.

Why are these things happening to us?

That’s for another post, but I’ll give you a hint – it’s because of us that these situations happen.

Until next time,


Curd Hos

You’re The F**king Problem

You might not want to hear it, but YOU’RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM.

No matter what we’re going through, no matter what we’re facing, it’s all up to  us how we’re going to deal with it, how we’re going to accept it, and how we’re going to handle it and process it.

If something is going shitty, we have to take a step back and take a look at what’s happening. We have to decide how to take control–how we deal with it, how we look at it–and find out if the situation is something we can fix.

If it’s something that we can fix, then we fix it.

It is something that we can’t fix, then we have to move on and figure out how to deal with it.

At the end of the day, the only person that we can control is ourselves.

A lot of times we find ourselves in a mess, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, we put ourselves there. We put ourselves there by a specific action we took, or we put ourselves there by a specific action or series of actions we didn’t take.

Especially when we run into situations where we start feeling like “This always happens to me!”

Well, if you’re in a scenario of “This always happens to me,” be it in a relationship or your work or your business, the cycle has to be broken by you.

And most often, we’re the bottleneck.

We’re the ones handling it poorly.

We’re the ones not looking at the real issue–the cause of the issue–and dealing with it.

Always late for work? Well, maybe you’re getting to bed too late, and getting up too late.

Well, who handles that?

We do.

We decide. We set the standards for ourselves.

If we find ourselves in a situation and get really mad about it, that’s on us. Because we’re the only ones who can control our own emotions.

Now, this isn’t easy, and in fact, it’s probably one of the toughest things that I’ve had to learn to deal with; the fact that, whether things are going well or not, it’s totally up to me–and it’s definitely up to me–how I deal with it, how I handle it, and how I feel about it.

If I don’t like the way something’s going, it’s up to me to make the changes.

It’s up to me to have those difficult conversations with the person that the problem might be with, or have that difficult conversation with myself and realize that, hey, it’s because I’m not taking care of “this”, that “this” keeps happening. It’s because I’m not paying attention, that it keeps happening. Or it’s because I’m acting a certain way, that this keeps happening.

You’ve probably heard this before, but if you’re hanging out with negative people, you become negative also.

So how do we deal with that?

We have to remove ourselves from it. But we also have to understand that it’s ultimately up to us if we’re positive or negative.

If you’re achieving goals, it’s because of you.

If you’re not achieving goals, it’s still because of you.

Now I’m not saying things don’t happen to us – there are shitty things that happen.

But how we deal with it and how we process it is totally within our control.

But the tough truth of it is, it’s still up to us.

The more we can do that, the better we become at dealing with things, the happier we become.

The more peace we can start to create within our mind.

It’s not a license to be an asshole. You gotta be honest.

You gotta think about your “filters” and how those filters affect how you perceive things.

You and the person beside you can be standing there and see an event happen in front of you, and you’re both gonna perceive it slightly differently, because of our programming, our scripts, and our filters.

How we were raised, what we’ve seen and haven’t seen through our experiences.

So it’s up to us to learn to change that.

If there’s a horrific car accident and someone we care about is affected or injured or dies, of course, it’s going to affect us.

But it’s still up to us to determine how long and how deeply.

How long do we let the process go, because we need to grieve in that kind of situation, but isn’t an excuse for–two years later–we’re drinking too much, or we’re a shut-in in our house.

We know there are things we need to do for ourselves. We know, deep down, what we need to fix.

We know, deep down, our strengths and weaknesses.

We have to learn to deal with them, we have to learn to come forward and it’s only up to us.

Whether we’re happy or sad in this life, is on us.

It’s on us to make the changes we have to make.

It’s on us to have to learn the self-control we need to have.

It’s on us to seek help when we need help.

It’s on us.


Curd Hos

Baby Don’t Fear the Reaper

Don't fear the reaper

Great song by Blue Oyster Cult!

Great Lesson about Life and Death

On one of our weekly Iron Will group calls last week I asked each participant this question:

“What was your biggest challenge during the month of March?”

One person shared something.

Something big – deep and REAL.

He said as he was nearing his 50th birthday, he was finding himself fearing that he was running out of time.

He was feeling anxious about not having accomplished so many of the things he thought he would have by now.

The magic of this community is that we have a safe place where we can voice and share deep feelings like this.

At another point he said he felt he was struggling with it a lot lately – he didn’t like this “irrational feeling.”

At 53 myself I can surely relate, and his words struck home to all of us on the call.

I thought about what he had just shared, to which I responded.

On the aspect of it seeming irrational, I suggested it was more of a feeling of “self-awareness” or an awakening.

Because we are, in fact, running out of time. From the day we are born our days are numbered.

Becoming aware is beautiful and enlightening – and also scary as fuck!

Especially if we feel we haven’t lived up to our dreams and aspirations, our purpose and potential.

Listen to the Iron Will Podcast episode Death is Coming

It’s also one of the reasons we need to work on ourselves – to transform our minds and bodies to live our best lives. Creating our “Ultimate Story of Ourselves” is one of the reasons we developed the Iron Will Reboot program and Iron Will Academy.

My own transformation was brought on by the very same fears and concerns.

Now 120 lbs lighter, 6 years sober, and in the best physical and mental shape of my life, I’m in a position to race against the Reaper.

Now more than at any time in my life, I am going after my BEST LIFE!

  • Because I have the desire and awareness to do so,
  • I have the Iron Will mindset and physical prowess to pursue this next level,
  • The mindset to spend time and bandwidth deciding what I want and creating a course to move me there.

We Fear the Reaper because we are broken and tired.

If we become stronger and possess an Iron Will to pursue our passions and pursue our true self, we will come to acknowledge and respect the Reaper.

Treating him like a worthy adversary

My goal at the endwhen I meet up with reaperis to welcome him and have him congratulate me on a journey well run!

Baby, don’t fear the Reaper…


Where the hell is Curd?

Where the hell is Curd?

So this week was my birthday week.

I turned 53.

I unplugged from most things and it was time to reflect and take stock.

I always take this week to reflect on everything going on in my life.

My physical health,

My mental health,

My relationships health,

My business health.

Then I decide on new goals and objectives for the next year.

For the last few years what I saw wasn’t very good – neither was my work on setting new goals and objectives to improve going forward.

This year was different – very different!


curd hos transformation


The physical

This year not only did I lose 120 lbs – but I am in probably the very best shape of my life.

My physical energy and endurance is through the roof.

The mental

This is the area of the most improvement.

I decided that I would live my life by 4 non-negotiable daily standards or rituals.

  • Food mastery
  • Exercise
  • Personal Presentation
  • Mindset programming

My relationships

Here I worked on deepening relationships with the people most important to me.

My wife.

My kids.

My inner circle of influence – which I made much, much smaller (friends – training partners – business partners).

I also stepped away from negative or draining relationships. 

I didn’t unfriend anyone, I just adjusted my energy spent and expectations.

My Business Health 

This one was tricky for sure this year.

Rebuilding after closing my training facility. 

Growing the Iron Hos Gear brand amidst the Covid craziness severely limited our capability to run meets and events.

Working on some very exciting new partnerships and projects for the brand.

Creating the Iron Will Reboot Transformation weight-loss program, brought about by the huge transformation I have undergone. 

Which led to many people being inspired and motivated to do the same for themselves!

Am I Bragging?!

Nope, not at all, but I am taking inventory of the wins and taking the time warranted to appreciate them.

Has it been easy?

Fuck no!

I have wanted to quit many times as old feelings of inadequacy and poor self-esteem reared its head many times in the beginning.

At the start, I was physically and mentally tired and broken.

Then as I started to make real progress the old “Imposter Syndrome” started to appear.

Who was I to think I could do this?

At my age?

I was too fat.

I had used up all my chances.

There wasn’t enough time left.

These were hard feelings to keep at bay. 

My mindset had to become very strong. I had to develop and MAINTAIN an Iron Will.

Taking a break 

I also took a break this week on my diet. 

I did keep my daily weigh-ins going, but didn’t freak out with my weight coming back up a bit.

I didn’t go crazy with food, but rather ate closer to a maintenance level and had a few cheat meals along the way in celebration of my birthday.

Having spent much of the last year in a daily calorie deficit, and especially over the last 60 days or so where I dropped over 50 lbs, it was time for a little “diet break.”

I kept the workouts the same and increased the length of my outdoor walks.

The added calorie intake gave me a nice boost of energy in the gym as it allowed more overall muscle recovery to happen.

Now it’s time to set new goals and get refocused!

What lies ahead in 2021 – 2022


Weight Loss and Physique

My next goal is to get down to 250 lbs and to decide which bodybuilding show I will do in 2021.

I am so happy that my passion for working out has not only returned but is now at a level I have never ever held before.


I have some exciting projects that will be coming to fruition in 2021. 

Additions to the Iron Hos Brand of apparel and accessories.

Opening an ultra-private training facility and retail location for Iron Hos Gear.

Running strength events as soon as the Covid climate and regulations allow us to do so.

Continue to help men and women make amazing transformations and discover the very best versions of themselves with the Iron Will Reboot transformation program and the Iron Will Academy.


Create more time and space for quality time with the people that matter most to me. Do what I can to help enrich their lives.

Hopefully, get back to some travel once we can do so again.


Here is an area I want to really explore and push myself in the coming year. 

I want to go deeper than I ever have in training and strengthening my mind.

I plan on doing this with daily rituals and mental and physical challenges designed to increase my Iron Will.

I have come to realize that ALL real change happens in our minds and how we think about ourselves and the world around us.

Stop yer grinnin’ and drop yer linen!

One of my favorite sayings, meaning it’s time to take action and move on to the next level.

I’m excited.

I’m grateful.

I’m ready.


Let’s fucking go !


Struggle – Persevere – Succeed – Inspire




Naked and Crying


Naked and Crying

I found myself in an all too familiar state this afternoon.

At times in life many of us have found ourselves in a moment of great despair, pushed to a point where we break.

Often it hits us when we are all alone, overwhelmed we let it out, tears flowing, body shaking, feeling naked and alone (sometimes we’re actually naked in bed or coming out of the shower) and it hits us square in the face.

The truth of our sadness or unhappiness can’t be hidden anymore.

Something in our life is making us miserable

Our body.
Our mind.
Our relationships.
Our business or career.

One or all of these areas can suck for us.

I know for me over the years I have found myself at incredible low points or “bottoms.”

Points at which I had to let it out – I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Food – Sex – Booze could no longer mask my feelings. Usually these things were making it worse and were causing even more issues for me.

I remember one time in particular I was in the shower – openly crying, just letting the water run over me as I was overtaken with emotion. I knew I couldn’t continue living my life in the manner I had been.

Something had to change.

I also knew that only I could do anything about it.

The next day I gave up drinking and got sober ( 6+ years now at the time of writing this).

The great thing about hitting bottom

These “bottoms” were usually followed by me taking massive action, picking myself up by my bootstraps and forging ahead.

I have done this during:

Business failures,
Relationships ending,
Loss of life close to me,
Deciding to no longer live as an obese and weak person.

However, there have been times (albeit more rare) that I have been this emotional in times of great happiness!

The birth of my children.
Business successes.
Achieving great results competing in the bench press.

Today I once again found myself naked and in tears.

This time it was one of joy and celebration.

As I stepped on the scale naked I weighed in and saw these numbers flash,


279 lbs.

I had done it.


From 398 lbs – obese – weak and broken mentally – unhappy with my current levels of business – my mindset – the quality of my relationships

Now 279 lbs – feeling 1000% better physically and mentally.

My business and relationships have improved dramatically (even in the midst of this crazy covid world).

I hadn’t been this light in 30 years!

I got very emotional.

There I was naked and crying.

Not gonna lie, this ‘Naked” version looked much better!

This is definitely a good version of naked and crying.

It was great to just sit there and take it all in.

Appreciate how far I had come.

Look at what amazing things had changed for me.

See what exciting new opportunities now present themselves to me.

Acknowledge and respect all the hard work I had just accomplished (something we don’t do enough with ourselves and our accomplishments)

All this as I turn 53 in a few days.

At 398 lbs I felt that time was running out and I would miss out on so much.

At 279 I feel like there is so much that can and will be accomplished with the time I have in front of me!

Struggle – Persevere – Succeed- Inspire






Don’t Wait To Be Perfect

Don’t wait to be perfect before you start something. 

One of the biggest obstacles we have whenever we want to start something new, is an innate fear that whatever we’re going to do isn’t gonna be good enough.

And it’s completely normal. 

And while it’s completely normal, don’t get trapped by it.

You’ve got to get started.

While we talk about taking action and getting things done, you also have to fight that fear and that worry of always being perfect.

You see it all the time, “I’ll do this thing, when I’m able to do that other thing first.” 

If you truly want to do something, start doing it right away.

In the fitness field we see it all the time (and I’ve actually heard people say this, too many times) “I’ll start working out when I’m in better shape” or “I want to lose a few more pounds before I come to the gym.”

When you think about it, it sounds insane.

But we feel we’re not good enough to do something, even though we really want to do it. 

In fact, a really cool quote I heard a while back is if you’re not embarrassed by the first time you did something/the first time you created something/the first time you took action on something–if you’re not a little bit embarrassed by it–you waited too long

You waited too long to go after what you wanted to do.

Because you’re only going to get really good at something after you start.

No one starts things perfectly. It’s just a fear we have.

Now sometimes it’s an excuse, and you can usually tell the way someone frames it, that they’re using it as an excuse. 

But honestly, it’s a fear of us not doing it right, it’s a fear of us looking foolish or it’s the fear of people laughing at us or judging us. 

Fuck all that. 

At the end of the day, when you’re ready–when deep down inside you know you’re ready to start something–fucking do it. 

Go and do it!

Who gives a fuck if you stumble 20 times?

It’s far better than wishing you had done something for a long time and never executed it.

Because once you start something–and it starts happening, and the momentum starts, and the progress happens– you’re so happy you did it that you’ll wish you would’ve started a long time before!

I’ve seen it in powerlifting when people compete for the first time. Inevitably, they get off the platform wishing they had started two years ago, six months ago, 10 years ago!

You just gotta let that ego go aside and let that fear go aside, and go do it.

Do it for the first time and look to improve, because anytime you learn a skill, you’re going to improve.

But first, you have to start. 

START, then you can be consistent. 

START, then you can improve.

But if you don’t start, nothing happens. 

Guys, don’t wait to be perfect. 


Curd Hos