When we decide to make huge changes in our lives, we expect there to be many positives. But we also know to expect some problems along the way.

Positives

• we will feel better,
• lose weight,
• get stronger,
• feel more confident,

Problems

• it’s gonna be hard at first,
• we’re going to get tired at times,
• we can feel lost and overwhelmed.

The Unexpected

Then there is the stuff we don’t expect.

How many people will be inspired by our progress?

How many people will have a problem with our progress?

Even stranger…

The people who know us the least will be the ones most inspired.

The people closest to us are some of the ones who will have the biggest issues with what we are doing.

it’s kinda fucked up – at first

Soon though it will just be part of the journey, part of the experiences you will have along the way to becoming the very best version of yourself.

It’s part of the price of success and change.

Just last week…within the space of 24 hours,

I received two very different messages.

First – I was told that I had become “self-absorbed” and I was a poor communicator.

Second – literally 24 hours later I was sent this message…

“I’m not sure you know how many lives you’ve touched… your name has come up a number of times. You are doing great work!”

Talk about diametrically opposed messages!!

I’d like to say that the negative message didn’t bother me. But I’m human, so it did. At first.

The old me would have really spent a lot of time spinning on that negative message.

Instead, I looked at the positive message harder – deeper.

In the end I came up with this…

To some you will be a Hero – to others you will be a Villain.

When I sat and thought about the messages even further, I realized both messages were actually very true.

I have become more self-absorbed!

I put my health – my mindset – fitness – my transformation, first above all else and everyone else.

But that type of self-absorbed has also inspired hundreds, maybe even thousands at this point, and will only continue to grow.

My transformation journey is allowing me to lead and help so many more people.

The more self-absorbed I am becoming, the more I have to offer and give to others!

The “Self Absorbed – Hero – Villain ” me…

…Is happier,

Is stronger Mentally and Physically,

IS a better man – husband -father – business partner – leader – friend.

BUT don’t worry, there’s still lots of room for improvement in all areas too.

Self-Absorbed or Inspiration as seen by others is just that – how others see me based on what’s happening in their hearts and minds.

The big difference is what I believe about myself – what my definition of self-absorbed is.

Yes, I am both a Hero and a Villain.

It’s the only way we can improve and move forward.

I accept it.

There is a time and a place for both

Be ready!

Struggle – Persevere – Succeed – Inspire

Ready to make a Transformation?

The Iron Will 28-Day Reboot is a four-week, step-by-step transformation program for men & women 35 & over, that includes a clean meal plan, personalized supplementation, fat-burning & body-changing workouts, and daily inspiration to help you feel STRONG & CONFIDENT, look AMAZING and have much more ENERGY to do the things you really want to do!

I talk a lot about having a positive mindset, the importance of having a purpose-driven life, and working towards our goals and our vision.

I also talk a lot about being motivated and getting things done by taking action.

What we don’t talk a lot about is how do we deal with difficult situations when they come up; a loss, something happening in our family, our emotions, other people’s emotions – including the shit WE cause!

Filling the void

Most times we avoid these things. And we avoid them, hide, or medicate ourselves so as to not to have to deal with these things. That can be anything from binging Netflix, booze, drugs, sex, food, and just overall “drama.”

We use all those things to fill the voids and to take the pain of the situation out of the equation for a little bit.

To hide from it. To mask it.

We’ll tell ourselves and others how it’s not fair, especially if people around us are listening to us.

You’ve got people all around you that will talk to you and will piss and moan to you, simply because you listen.

But we do that ourselves as well. It’s only natural that we get into those situations, but sometimes we get caught up in that cycle.

Taking Action

We sit in our own self-pity as a baby sits in a shitty diaper – hoping that someone will come along and clean it up for us.

But we know, deep down inside, that it really is up to us,

At the end of the day, it’s all on us. It’s up to us how we’re going to deal with it.

Rather than avoiding the issues, or continuing to keep running into the same issues, we need to face them head-on. We need to acknowledge the pain and push towards a solution. We’ve got to push towards our goals and the vision of where we want to go.

We have to push to get to the other side.

There’s a really cool Latin phrase, Sustine et Abstine, which means Bear and Forbear.

Endure what we must.

But once we turn and face something–once we decide to deal with something–rather than let it go on and on, grin and bear it, bite your teeth and get through it.

Get to the other side.

And I’ll tell you, once you’re through to the other side we can look at what caused that situation.

Why are these things happening to us?

That’s for another post, but I’ll give you a hint – it’s because of us that these situations happen.

Until next time,

Struggle-Persevere-Succeed-Inspire

Curd Hos

You might not want to hear it, but YOU’RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM.

No matter what we’re going through, no matter what we’re facing, it’s all up to  us how we’re going to deal with it, how we’re going to accept it, and how we’re going to handle it and process it.

If something is going shitty, we have to take a step back and take a look at what’s happening. We have to decide how to take control–how we deal with it, how we look at it–and find out if the situation is something we can fix.

If it’s something that we can fix, then we fix it.

It is something that we can’t fix, then we have to move on and figure out how to deal with it.

At the end of the day, the only person that we can control is ourselves.

A lot of times we find ourselves in a mess, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, we put ourselves there. We put ourselves there by a specific action we took, or we put ourselves there by a specific action or series of actions we didn’t take.

Especially when we run into situations where we start feeling like “This always happens to me!”

Well, if you’re in a scenario of “This always happens to me,” be it in a relationship or your work or your business, the cycle has to be broken by you.

And most often, we’re the bottleneck.

We’re the ones handling it poorly.

We’re the ones not looking at the real issue–the cause of the issue–and dealing with it.

Always late for work? Well, maybe you’re getting to bed too late, and getting up too late.

Well, who handles that?

We do.

We decide. We set the standards for ourselves.

If we find ourselves in a situation and get really mad about it, that’s on us. Because we’re the only ones who can control our own emotions.

Now, this isn’t easy, and in fact, it’s probably one of the toughest things that I’ve had to learn to deal with; the fact that, whether things are going well or not, it’s totally up to me–and it’s definitely up to me–how I deal with it, how I handle it, and how I feel about it.

If I don’t like the way something’s going, it’s up to me to make the changes.

It’s up to me to have those difficult conversations with the person that the problem might be with, or have that difficult conversation with myself and realize that, hey, it’s because I’m not taking care of “this”, that “this” keeps happening. It’s because I’m not paying attention, that it keeps happening. Or it’s because I’m acting a certain way, that this keeps happening.

You’ve probably heard this before, but if you’re hanging out with negative people, you become negative also.

So how do we deal with that?

We have to remove ourselves from it. But we also have to understand that it’s ultimately up to us if we’re positive or negative.

If you’re achieving goals, it’s because of you.

If you’re not achieving goals, it’s still because of you.

Now I’m not saying things don’t happen to us – there are shitty things that happen.

But how we deal with it and how we process it is totally within our control.

But the tough truth of it is, it’s still up to us.

The more we can do that, the better we become at dealing with things, the happier we become.

The more peace we can start to create within our mind.

It’s not a license to be an asshole. You gotta be honest.

You gotta think about your “filters” and how those filters affect how you perceive things.

You and the person beside you can be standing there and see an event happen in front of you, and you’re both gonna perceive it slightly differently, because of our programming, our scripts, and our filters.

How we were raised, what we’ve seen and haven’t seen through our experiences.

So it’s up to us to learn to change that.

If there’s a horrific car accident and someone we care about is affected or injured or dies, of course, it’s going to affect us.

But it’s still up to us to determine how long and how deeply.

How long do we let the process go, because we need to grieve in that kind of situation, but isn’t an excuse for–two years later–we’re drinking too much, or we’re a shut-in in our house.

We know there are things we need to do for ourselves. We know, deep down, what we need to fix.

We know, deep down, our strengths and weaknesses.

We have to learn to deal with them, we have to learn to come forward and it’s only up to us.

Whether we’re happy or sad in this life, is on us.

It’s on us to make the changes we have to make.

It’s on us to have to learn the self-control we need to have.

It’s on us to seek help when we need help.

It’s on us.

Struggle-Persevere-Succeed-Inspire

Curd Hos

Great song by Blue Oyster Cult!

Great Lesson about Life and Death

On one of our weekly Iron Will group calls last week I asked each participant this question:

“What was your biggest challenge during the month of March?”

One person shared something.

Something big – deep and REAL.

He said as he was nearing his 50th birthday, he was finding himself fearing that he was running out of time.

He was feeling anxious about not having accomplished so many of the things he thought he would have by now.

The magic of this community is that we have a safe place where we can voice and share deep feelings like this.

At another point he said he felt he was struggling with it a lot lately – he didn’t like this “irrational feeling.”

At 53 myself I can surely relate, and his words struck home to all of us on the call.

I thought about what he had just shared, to which I responded.

On the aspect of it seeming irrational, I suggested it was more of a feeling of “self-awareness” or an awakening.

Because we are, in fact, running out of time. From the day we are born our days are numbered.

Becoming aware is beautiful and enlightening – and also scary as fuck!

Especially if we feel we haven’t lived up to our dreams and aspirations, our purpose and potential.

Listen to the Iron Will Podcast episode Death is Coming

It’s also one of the reasons we need to work on ourselves – to transform our minds and bodies to live our best lives. Creating our “Ultimate Story of Ourselves” is one of the reasons we developed the Iron Will Reboot program and Iron Will Academy.

My own transformation was brought on by the very same fears and concerns.

Now 120 lbs lighter, 6 years sober, and in the best physical and mental shape of my life, I’m in a position to race against the Reaper.

Now more than at any time in my life, I am going after my BEST LIFE!

• Because I have the desire and awareness to do so,
• I have the Iron Will mindset and physical prowess to pursue this next level,
• The mindset to spend time and bandwidth deciding what I want and creating a course to move me there.

We Fear the Reaper because we are broken and tired.

If we become stronger and possess an Iron Will to pursue our passions and pursue our true self, we will come to acknowledge and respect the Reaper.

Treating him like a worthy adversary

My goal at the end—when I meet up with reaper—is to welcome him and have him congratulate me on a journey well run!

Baby, don’t fear the Reaper…